Friday the 18th

The dream haunted me throughout the day. Not the one where I was riding my scooter, being chased by a talking, two-foot, moose; there’s nothing really strange about that. The other one; the dream with me and a beautiful woman, now that was bizarre!

Then it came to me, at least part of it anyway. The movie I incorporated into my dream was “The Haunting”, the 1999 remake starring Liam Neeson, and the very lovely Catherine Zeta Jones. For me, the movie changes during the “fireplace” scene, the one from my dream. That’s when everyone there then knows that the haunting is real. Of course there was no fat man on a scooter rescuing the beautiful woman, that was all me. My subconscious knows how to influence me.

‘Connecticut’ kept entering my thoughts. It wasn’t until around lunch time that it dawned on me why. My subconscious had used the movie “The Haunting” for the dream; last year a movie was released called, Haunting in Connecticut. This move was inspired in part by the series in which the story was explored. The series was called “A Haunting.” One of the very first shows in that series was on Hell House. No, not the fictional Hell House in Maine, from the book, but a “real” Hell House located, get this, in Connecticut. My mind frightens even me.

The deviousness and twisted connections from the dream do not end there, they connect me, as a 7 year old child, to all of this, but I will save those for a later time. Suffice it to say, I’m destined to do this, influenced by either higher forces, or some that are pretty darned low, but influenced none the less. Now I know what ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ would have felt like, if she were a 50-year old man.


My plan is twofold:

First, I’ll scoot to Maine (avoiding moose) and inquire about the fictional house from the locals. There may be a local mythology and lore that came about based on the book and movie. Some may even think it is real. This ‘could’ be interesting, and as shown in the movie, The Blair Witch Project, not that difficult to accomplish as long as I don’t get killed. Note to self: Stay out of the woods.

The second part is to scoot down to Connecticut, my neighbor to the south, and locate the so called “real” Hell House. Once found, I’ll do a ghost hunt/investigation and an exorcism if needed. If the owners don’t want me there, I’ll do it at the cemetery across the street (there is always a cemetery across the street or right next-door).



I’m bringing my Super Soaker 50 and gallons of Holy Water with me. I’ll be able to douse that house and anything that comes out if it from the safety of my scooter.

What can go wrong?

Thursday Night – Part 3 The Dreams

Dreams for me are many things. Sometimes they are prophetic, informing me of things to come; but usually they are just a combination of thoughts, ideas, and external influences meshed together into interrelated psychotic movie like shorts. This night’s dreams seemed to be of the later category.

The first dream I recall had me on a small road in the woods on my scooter. I was travelling at a good clip, following the curves in the road until I came upon it. “It” you may ask? “It” was a two-foot tall, chocolate brown, moose. My scooter came to a stop when I saw it, I was about to turn around when it noticed me. There was a look in its eyes, and what looked like a smile on its face; and then it was racing towards me.

My scooter spun around so quickly that even a motocross champion would have been proud, and we were quickly up to cruising speed. Trees and rocks fell by the wayside and vanished into the background as the scooter sped along, the road ahead was a blur. I looked in the mirror, and the moose was almost upon me. All I could see in the mirror were antlers and that smile, closer and closer it came, then the lips moved as it to speak, the scooter was off the ground now, we had been hit, as I flew the air I thought I heard the word, “Mommy,” then I was awake.


Eventually I fall back to sleep and find myself in the huge mansion. Liam Neeson is there lecturing as I stand looking dumbfounded at a scantly clad Catherine Zeta Jones. Without warning, bones start shooting out of the huge fireplace, coming at us, then the visage of a huge face appears, screaming. The next thing I know, I’m on my scooter, Catherine on the back with her body pressed against mine. We burst through the door then the gate, leaving a whimpering Liam behind in a puddle of tears as we ride off into the coming sunrise. And I’m awake again.

I remember thinking, “Damn, why did I have to wake up then?” Teddy is still asleep on my legs; his brother Little has joined us and is curled up next to me, pressing into my back. Sleep comes again, but I cannot recall any other dreams.

Morning comes; I get up and go through the daily routine but with the image of Ms. Jones on my mind, I know I want to do this project!

Thursday Night – Part 2

Returning home, all hyped up on sugar and chocolate, I went back to look at what Doctor Spooky had written. Haunted houses, sorcerers, psychic and scientific investigation, ghosts, Maine… It all came together for me.

Almost six years ago, I had attempted to make a documentary. It had failed due to forces beyond me; it had required other people, a camera person, others to participate, an audience, and a large venue. This project could be done by me alone.

Two things came to mind on how to approach this:
First was the movie, The Blair Witch Project. The idea of going to the town where something real (or fictional) had occurred and asking the residents if they had ever heard of it felt right to me, as did the idea of doing a solo investigation to discover if there is any truth behind the story.

The second, totally unrelated, was a story in the January issue of SCOOT magazine. Two brave soles had completed a nation crossing adventure on 50 CC scooters (moped class), travelling from California to Maine. I have a scooter of the same class, and if they could cross the country, I should be capable of travelling to an adjoining state, which ‘synchronistically’ is also Maine.

With this in mind, I ordered the movie (Legend of Hell House) and the book (Hell House) to learn more about the story. Then I went to bed with thoughts of adventure on my mind.

Bed-time in my home is always an adventure. Outside of my crawling into bed and trying to find a comfortable position, there is Teddy. Teddy is the younger of the two cats I inherited from my daughter. His nightly routine is to wait unlit I go to bed, give me a chance to get comfortable, sneak into my room and climb on my chair. And when I least suspect it, pounce from the chair and land on my bed. This causes the house to shake, as Teddy is about 20 pounds of feline fury. The first time he did this, I was laying on my back in bed, Teddy used my tender region as a landing pad, I’ve never lain on my back since!

Once he has landed, Teddy walks up my body and expects me to scratch behind his ears. After this, he performs a 5 minute long session of catupuncture, they moves to my hips and goes to sleep. I soon follow.

(Note: For those who are unfamiliar with the term “catupuncture”, it is act of a cat putting his entire body weight to one of his front paws, then extending his claws into whatever is beneath, retracting, then repeating with the other paw and claws. Although this may sound relaxing, a mix between a massage and acupuncture, it is not to be experienced without a thick blanket between you and the cat. Trust me!)

Thursday Night - Part 1

Thursday evening, I was racing home from work, it was my daughter’s birthday and I did not want to be late. Just 3 days earlier, Valentine’s Day, I was at her home, dropping off candy. My daughter was at work, but her husband Kurt, my son Joe, and the grandchildren, Tristan and Olivia, were there.

The talk turned to Kristy’s birthday on the 17th, I asked Kurt if he was getting a cake, or if I should. He said he would take care of it, then Tristan blurted out, “Mommy wants chocolate cake,” At 3 1/2, he is a smart cookie, because that is exactly what his father ended up buying.

Back to Thursday: when I arrived home, I checked my messages to see if my daughter had called, being none, I left her one to call me when she wanted me to stop by. Then I checked my messages and found the posting from Doctor Spooky.

His challenge, to create a presentation on a haunted house, “Hell House” in particular seemed to spark something in me. Knowing that the book took place in Maine, my neighboring state to the north, I thought it would be fun to take a road trip on my scooter and visit the location in which it took place. I posted my thoughts, and then laid down for a little while.

So about 5:30 PM, I get a call to rush over as they are about to have the birthday cake. I arrive to see two smiling children, both glaring at the double chocolate cake on the table. Almost immediately, the candles are lit and we are led into a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday initiated by the two and 3 ½ year-olds. They say talents run in families, but I think the lack of talents also follows the generational lines; it was clear by the end of the song that none of us could sing.

Then the cake was served. Mommy only had a little piece as she was going out to dinner as did Daddy; I had a small piece as well. I had not eaten anything today and knew if I had too much sugar, things would not be pleasant. Tristan had one slice, and his cheeks began to turn red, I think the sugar was taking hold. Olivia on the other hand, she devoured 2 slices, and between bites was reaching with claw-like hands towards the remained of the cake, attacking the frosting. Then she got that look in her eyes…

“The Livy Monster” is a nickname we have for our darling angelic Olivia. I supposed I have to share in the blame for that, at 6 month’s old, I taught her how to growl and claw like a monster, but she took that little bit and made it all her own. For example: last Christmas Tristan was showing me how he had set up his trains in the living room. It was a wonderful feat of engineering, he had covered the entire room with train tracks, all connected in intricate patterns with buildings, tunnels, ramps, and hills. The trains were racing around, it was incredible. He did all this at only three years old. Then I saw Livy peek around the corner… She entered the room like a munchkin version of Godzilla, kicking over trains, stomping on tracks, ripping up buildings and tossing them across the room, both Tristan and I were in shock. The Livy Monster had struck.

This night, there were no trains or track on the agenda; she had looked at her mother, and the black dress she was wearing. Face and hands covered in chocolate, she jumped off her chair and raced around to meet Mommy.

Kristy is fast, and in excellent shape. In fact, she was the first freshman ever accepted onto her college’s Intramural track team. Seeing what was coming, she was already on her feet.

Livy, with her hands raised by her head, much like she was making the moose sign, seemed float around the kitchen like a wraith, feet never touching the floor, as she chased her mother. There was no escape, and I heard the word “No!” come from my daughter’s lips as the Livy Monster caught her and gave her a chocolate hug and kiss. Livy then said, “Happy Birthday Mommy.” and smiled. The image of my daughter being chased around the house by a chocolate moose (mousse?) is one that will never leave me. I smiled!

Introduction – The Boring Background

Looking at this blog, a few questions might be asked:

“What the heck is this all about?”, or as my son might put it, “What the f#@%?!”

Here is the background:

On the 17th of February, 2011, a challenge was put forth. “Challenge” is what it was called, some may call it a “contest”, but I prefer to think of it as a challenge. Simply put it was, “The challenge is this: create a tribute to HELL HOUSE. The setting does not have to be in HELL HOUSE…The deadline is April First.”

What is “Hell House”?
“HELL HOUSE” is a book written by Richard Matheson, published in 1971; it was also made into the movie, “Return to Hell House”, in 1973. In short, it is a haunted house story; the book itself calls it, the "Mount Everest of haunted houses." The story, as I understand it at this time, revolves around an investigation of this house, a “ghost hunt” using both psychical and scientific methods.

Not being real clear on the entire story, I have ordered both the movie and the book and will go through each to formulate a plan of action.

Who is the person that issued the “challenge,” and why?
Last year, a friend started a not-for profit enterprise with the aim of adding quality works to the field of Horror Entertainment. Each product he develops is either given away in the form of a “prize” or auctioned off with all proceeds going to charity. Each of these items are highly sought after as they are limited, beautiful, and cannot be obtained in any way other than through a contest or the auction. The contests are designed to promote creativity and advancements in the field. My friend is also a well known, prominent psychologist, and as I don’t want to tarnish him or his reputation with any of my actions, words, or whatever may come out of this endeavor, I will refer to him as Doctor Spooky.

So, Doctor Spooky issues a challenge on February 17th. I did not see it right away, the 17th is also my little baby-girl’s birthday; she just turned 26. Having returned from her home, with a sugar high from too much double-chocolate birthday cake, I read his posting. At that time, all I did was smile and think of what others may do, and then I went to bed. It was a troubled sleep, fueled by Doc. Spooky’s words, too much sugar, and the realization of time catching up with me. In my dreams a plan was formed, a bizarre, crazy adventure to be played out in real life. Scooters, ukuleles and ghosts, oh my... The concept of “Search for Hell House” was born.

In Search of Hell House

Prepare for high adventure, thrills, and soul shaking terror in this true life drama that is just taking form.

Meet Tony, a retired government intelligence analyst, minister, and psychic as he goes out in search of the true “Hell House”.

An amazing journey that goes from Massachusetts to wilds of Maine, and then to mean streets of Connecticut.

Can a fat man on a moped outrun a raging moose?

Learn the true meaning of, “You can’t get there from here!”.

What happens when a lone man comes face to face with the forces of Hell?

Will Tony find anyone to house-sit his cats during this adventure?

And can this all be accomplished before the April First deadline?

Find out, and join our hero as he sets out on this adventure on his moped, video camera in hand, with only his faithful ukulele, Mellony, for company.

This is a high-speed, true-life, supernatural thriller that never goes beyond 25 MPH.